Title:	dream journal entry
Date:	2007-04-22 @ 18:30
Security:	public
Music:	summertime - piano instrumental
Mood:	it's all dreams baby.

i thought i'd never dream of you again but i did.

we were in a town that looked like a mixture of cubao, kowloon and krakow. it was ruled by gangsters. we were doctors - pediatricians in fact. you seemed more of an expert at whatever we did than i was.

there was an outbreak of sorts. a minor epidemic but nobody cared. we tried to take care of children - babies as big as my palm and seemingly made out of molded gel but babies all the same. it was tiring to hold them for they were suprisingly heavy. i was afraid to drop one of them but i did. the back of its head splatted on the cemented-pebbles floor into a flesh-colored goop. i tried to pick it up gently, guilty of having harmed, if not killed a child. but it's splatted head easily lifted and made itself whole again.

healing is a tiring job. and when we were led into one of the children's rooms, i collapsed. maybe intentionally, maybe not. you helped me onto the kid's bed and got me home-cured bacon (it says so on the see-thru microwavable container) darker than the kind i like and sweeter too. you told me jokes and made me laugh. like you always do.

then i was out with one of these babies, all flesh-colored and small in a pram. we went out for a stroll and a gang of leather-clad chinese-looking guys accosted us. i scooped out the baby and ran to a corner shop all boarded up for the day. i knew the muscle-bound man inside. you knew him too. a friend of ours i think. he came out and confronted those gangsters. i didn't watch.

PeanusDe AnRien. i still do.

Title:	Pagkatapos
Date:	2007-04-03 @ 16:54
Security:	public
Music:	rain rain go away sung by a really haunting children's choir
Mood:	melancholy

Sa ibaba, isinumbong

ng gate ang pagdating mo.

Ang briefcase mo'y walang kwenta

di ka man lang iniligtas mula sa unos.

Sa kwarto, isinigaw

ng pinto ang pagpasok mo.

Nagdabog ang mga damit mo

dahil basang-basa ka.

Ang kama'y nagreklamo

sa bigat mo.

Hinagis mo ang kumot

at natulog.

Ang hilik mo'y naglunod

sa lahat ng bagay sa mundong ito.

Ang kumot nati'y walang kwenta

Di man lang ako hinahalikan.



Sa loob, isip ko'y

kumakanta, paulit-ulit, paulit-ulit.

Puso ko'y sumasayaw

ng waltz.



Rayne rayne goh awaye

Kam again anader day

Litel Children Litel Children

waaant to play.

Eit's raynin eit's powrin

d olwd lady is snowring

tananana nanana na

di ko na alam ang kanta



Sa sahig, naroroon

ang wallet mo, nakabukaka

Tahimik tayong pinanonood

ng iyong pamilya.

Sa dingding, ang mga anino

natin ay naghahalo't naghihiwalay.

Ang pawis natin ay pabango

nang buong kwarto.

Mga bulong mo'y

tumutula nang walang-kamatayang pag-ibig

na matatapos rin

sa gabing iyon.

Title:	free writing
Date:	2007-04-01 @ 20:04
Security:	public
Music:	dim lights and counting sheep by cat cortes
Mood:	contemplative

i watched the waves fall gently into the sands of my mind.

the sky above was a void. no moon no star no sun no cloud to be seen.

i wished you were here.

i don't know why i still long for you.

reality i suppose hasn't fully sunk in. but...

i no longer love you as much as i used to.

and that makes my job harder.


find me so we can talk it over.

in the meantime, i remain as i am.

Title:	spiritfrienddream
Date:	2007-03-05 @ 21:31
Security:	public
Mood:	i wish i was still dreaming

Between the twilight hours of the dawn, I dreamt of you once more.

Alone. I found myself alone in another strange, transient city of Spanish origin. I was in a cheap mall exploring the furniture floor of its department store. It was dusty and old and covered in dark blue. The things were rarely cleaned and appreciated. The mall was closed and I was inside.

I wasn't interested in these old, plastic glass plants. I was searching for you.

I guess I was right to look in these dilapidated place. You were there. You took my hand and never let go.

Together we explored the furniture shops of the old-Barcelona-like city. With nothing to find in the dusty old shops at the top of cheap malls, we decided to go further down, deeper into the throat of the city. We went down into the sidestreets to a glass-and-chrome two-storey.

We rode an elevator down. It showed a creamy painting of ice-cream colors. I think I told you that it reminded me of my aunt, the mother of my favorite cousins.

Downstairs in the basement, we found a sophisticated furniture store. Lamps of glittery delight were on a corner or two. There were floor-to-ceiling mirrors on the walls when we entered. And real plants of evergreen-colored palm-leaves. And dark leather furniture. And a girl in a red shirt reflected on the mirrors, going up and down the stairs. I know her, she's a friend and classmate.

The dream fluctuates and repeats. We go down a different elevator but end up in the same place. Again. And Again. And Again.

I don't mind. I'm holding your hand. It's the most real I've felt it to be in my dreams. And I never wanted it to end but it did.

EctenSendres. PeanusDe. AnRien.